Different Strokes for Different Folks

Today's blog is dedicated to cousin Hinda a"h, teacher par excellence.

Jewish tradition holds that each child is unique and must be taught according to his needs. Some children are visual learners, others are tactile learners, and still others are auditory learners. Some children need dynamic teachers with boisterous personalities, while others are inspired by quiet, calmer styles of personal attention. No one way is right for everyone - and a wise teacher will be able to tap into the particular needs of the individual child, in order to appropriately guide him.

The way we mother must also accommodate each child's individual personality. Especially those of us with more than one child must be careful to be flexible with our methods and treatment, so that each child gets what he needs. The way we discipline, challenge, engage, and protect our children can and should be different. Some children need a firm voice to guide them, while others feel stifled by tight discipline. Some children are naturally attentive to their parents' wishes, while others test behavioral boundaries. No one path will guide all children, and we mothers must be creative, open-minded, and patient to listen.

In my own experience, my son is a true little-man. He has an ego that must be stroked, or he throws tantrums. While I am guiding him to be more patient and less tantrum-prone, I must also protect him from his own anger and do my best to attend to his male-personality. When I raise my voice to him, he shuts down. But if I whisper in his ear what I'd like to see, he quickly changes his tune and wants to impress me. My daughter, on the other hand, does not listen when I whisper in her ear and continues to whine and act defiantly. She needs to be told what to do, in a firm voice. Each personality has its merits and requires a different style of parenting.

My cousin Hinda was an amazing teacher and guide. She knew how to be a listener and always had advice that was dead-on. I wish she were able to read my blogs and add her life-experience as pre-school teacher, mother and grandmother. She will be dearly missed.