Secondary Crises - a "not-your-average-parenting" post

A country is at war. People are fearing their lives. They run from the bombs, seeking shelter. The main crisis is clear: war.

But there are secondary crises that are often overlooked: the wives and husbands of soldiers who are now single-parents - either temporarily or (sigh) permanently. The children who are panicked, the families torn apart. The refugees, the displaced, who must how rebuild their lives. The merchant who suddenly cannot make a living, since nobody is brave enough to go out on the streets and visit his shop. These "secondary crises" aren't often in the news - they aren't front-page material. But they are painful realities that need to be addressed.

Similarly, when a family is told that their child has an aggressive tumor, most people think of how to help with the primary crisis: cancer. They clearly understand the idea of fighting for life and many rally to support.

But there are secondary crises that are also painful. How to balance work/life in this new climate? How to take care of other family needs? The strain is especially hard on parents who must handle their own emotions while also getting through the practical daily chores *and* supporting their child/children in their own unique ways. Who is there to support these parents and siblings during the crisis?

Cancer and similar life-threatening conditions are not a short-term battle. They are a long-term war. The battle cry at the front is heard loud and clear, but what about those suffering behind, overlooked yet still scarred from the experience?

It's not as exciting to tend to secondary crises. Going out of your way to purchase products from people in a war zone doesn't have the cache that tweeting "go team" does. Likewise, caring for a sibling or parent of a sick child doesn't feel as meaningful. But it means the world to those who are not on the front but feeling the pain from behind.

...and how does this relate to parenting? Those of us who overlook secondary crises may likewise neglect our children's subtle, less-exciting challenges. We pay attention when the battle gets bloody (figuratively or literally!), but we don't pay attention to the pain that may be lingering underneath. Take time to consider how to support your child through his/her secondary crises - this is key to winning the Great War of Parenting.