The Stranger Irony

We set our kids up to be lured into traps with strangers. And we don't even know it.

We do it All. The. Time.

Here's the scenario:
A young child is sitting in the cart seat at the grocery store. An elderly man approaches. "Hello, pretty girl! You are adorable. What's your name?"

Child looks to Mommy for a moment, puzzled with how to proceed. Most of us will nudge our child to answer. "Go ahead, tell him your name!"

"And how old are you, sweetie?"

Child cowers and avoids looking at the stranger. Most of us will answer for our child. "Oh, she's 3. Her birthday was just last week."

BAM.

We've just taught our child to openly speak with strangers, and if they ask for personal information, the polite and correct response is to reply directly and honestly.

...and then we tell them at home "never talk to strangers, right?"

This is a classic case of *saying* one thing, but *doing* another.

In public places: grocery stores, shopping malls, even playgrounds, strangers approach vulnerable, young children constantly with a barrage of smiles, winks, and invitations to play or joke with them. And we adults typically entertain these gestures as if it's normal and ok to smile back, give a high-five, and yes - even take that cookie and enjoy it.

But we don't realize that we are sending our children entirely mixed messages that can potentially lead to the worst-case-scenario.

"Hey little guy, what's your name?"

"Awww that's so cute! Did your mommy get you that adorable hat?"

"Hi pal, is that your baby sister in the car seat?"

At the risk of coming across as rude (and consider, dear reader, why you *care* if the cashier or elderly grandmama thinks you're rude?) the wiser choice is to firmly inform, "I'm sorry but we don't talk to strangers" and show your kid that you live by your word.

Teach by example. Don't talk to strangers.