Myths & Facts #2: Clean Up Time

Myth: "My kids always clean up diligently after they play. I have a tidy, organized play space."

Fact: Most kids, like most adults, are less excited about clean-up than about mess-making. Diligent clean-up is a fairy-tale, unless there is a housekeeper involved.

...So what do we do? First of all: lower your expectations! The main point of teaching your child to clean up is just that: teaching. It's not about the results, but rather the process. Do not expect a cleared, organized space, but rather a child who understands the principles of responsibility and respect (for her space, other people's needs, etc.) This doesn't mean you should clean up for a minute and move on, of course. But it does mean that you need to remember that it's about your child's growth and education and not your well-kept home.

And the best way to teach him about clean-up? As Mary Poppins pointed out: "...find the fun and snap! the job's a game". There are many tips on how to bring out the fun involving clean up. Here are some ideas, but you need to embellish and see what works for you and your kids:

-Crank up the music. Make it into a hip-hoppin' dance party, where the toys are props that are tossed into their boxes to the beat.

-Find the hidden pennies. In big messes, you can hide pennies (or M&Ms, stickers, or other prizes) and create a challenge to see who can collect/find the most hidden treats while tidying.

-Get down with it. A great way to encourage your kid is to work alongside with him. Have a conversation, transfer clean-up time into an opportunity to chat about your day or tell a story.

-Sportscast the "game". Grab a spoon as the microphone and pretend to give a "play by play" account of the clean up, filled with jokes and silly commentary.

-Race. Keep tabs on how long it takes the child(ren) to clean a room and try to beat your own time OR race against Mommy to see who can clean up fastest/most etc.

-Create excitement. Make up a story of why it's "so important" to clean up "right away" - for example: "oh no, little bear wants to go to sleep! We'd better clean up the room so we can take him upstairs!"

Myths & Facts #1: PottyTraining

Myth: "My kid was potty trained in a week at age 13 months old! No hassle, no mess!"

Fact: Some kids will take *years* (no joke!) to finally go without accidents. And it won't matter much what age you introduce him to the wonderful poopy-swishing machine. (Especially if you include night shifts in the bargain).

Explanation: Kinda like childbirth, the truth is that this is less of a one-big-intense-moment and more like a long-drawn-out-haul. You can plan all kinds of perks and prizes to help encourage your tike to "do it, do it, do it on the toi-let!" but the truth is he will very likely sometimes do-it-right and sometimes do-it-whenever/wherever he wants, even after months of knowing where the toilet is and how to do-it.

...So be patient. Choose when you want to make the introduction, probably based on when your kid heads to school or daycare - either for your ease-of-mind or mandated by the age/class of the school. Go ahead and make it fun or amusing, but *take it easy* - don't sweat if your kid doesn't embrace the new system 100%. Plan ahead with lots of baking soda to throw into messy laundry (get comfortable with the "soak" cycle) and buy some thick underpants and extra plastic-mats at your local baby store to carry you through the nights. As with everything else in parenting: consider this a test of your endurance - go for the Gold!

Nursing Reverie

Breastfeeding can mean a lot of different things to different women. Some women do it for their children's health. Others do it as a form of bonding. Some find it cozy and loving, while others find it a painfully-taxing duty as a mother. Whatever your reason, there are some hidden benefits that moms should consider.

First stage benefit: TV or reading time. At the first stage when baby is a newborn, s/he will breastfeed a LOT. You will be nursing often and for long periods of time each feeding. You will be tired and weak, not really up for much of anything to do. Luckily, this is the perfect stage and time to ... catch up on your favorite episodes! Dive into a trashy novel! If you plan out a nice cozy spot to snuggle with your baby (and perhaps with your spouse's help getting all the electronics or props arranged at your fingertips), you can enjoy your tablet, book, or online shows while also being productive and taking care of your new baby - a nice win-win!

Second stage benefit: Me time, all to yourself! At some point your baby will start to be distracted if you do any other activity (watch tv, read a book, talk on the phone) while breastfeeding. This often coincides with the stage when people are no longer concerned with helping you out as a new-baby momma, and you are feeling particularly drained and exhausted. Nursing at this stage can be your opportunity to relax, let go of your "to do"s, and shut out the world.

Third stage benefit: Meditation! Once nursing has become second-nature and baby is more active, especially after having introduced other foods, breastfeeding becomes a time to let your mind flow with ideas and daydreams. No matter what your style: whether you are a "get stuff done" mom or a hippie-philosopher, this stage is great for taking time out to clear your mind and/or observe your thoughts. Now that you are running around after your child more, here is a great opportunity to slow down and refresh yourself. You may use this time to envision tomorrow's meeting, an upcoming birthday party or compose (in your mind) your next mommying blog :) No matter what your thoughts may be, many psychologists and religious leaders alike encourage meditation, and like-it-or-not, this is a time when you probably do just that: meditate.

I never thought of myself as a meditator, and yet after almost 9 years of breastfeeding, I suddenly realized that I do indeed mediate on a regular basis - while breastfeeding. Nursing can be your time-out from all the other mommy to-dos and messy-life demands. It can be your opportunity to check back into your deepest thoughts, dreams, and wishes. It can carve out time to shut off your mind while you watch tv, or just the opposite: allow you to really tap into your creative juices and most passionate self-discoveries.

So no matter your reason for breastfeeding, consider these benefits in addition to the ones you may already espouse - they make your nursing time more meaningful for you and your baby.