My sister heads back to work, after a nice, long leave of a year to be with her adorable baby girl. It's thrilling, exciting, and also awful at the same time.
She is so happy about her new job.
And she's devastated about leaving her daughter.
I find myself jealous that she is forging on with her career, making a nice living, feeling professional and respected. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with laundry, dirty dishes, stained clothing, and the occasional diaper that's leaked through.
And then she tells me how difficult it is to leave her daughter. What if she doesn't do well at daycare? Should she look for a nanny instead, at twice the price? What if the daycare isn't as great as it seemed? What if her daughter doesn't sleep well or doesn't eat enough?
... and then I'm not so jealous of my sister. I look to my side and see my tots playing and giggling together, so full of joy. I can swoop down for a hug and kiss whenever I want. I can play and sing with them all day. I never miss a new word or a new tooth budding.
I wish I could build a career for myself, something respectful and helpful to others. And yet I want to be with my kids all-the-time. My sister wishes the same.
We have tough choices. I've blogged about it before, but it's worth repeating: whoever said "you can have it all" was clearly not a modern mommy. There are constant sacrifices, and we are always looking over our shoulders, keeping tabs of the other mom who seems to juggle her world better. But we never know what is in her heart, what tears she sheds at night and what challenges she faces.
Let's be there to support each other and make the most of those tough choices that really, truly we all have to live with.
Well said. There is no ideal, and once we let go of that concept, it is a relief. At least it was for me. And although there is a part of me that envies the moms that work FT, with their pretty office clothing and clear cut responsibilities that demand actual mental acuity, I also think of what they are missing. I am so grateful for the bond and communication I have with my daughter, and I think I would be too frazzled to be a good mother if I were firing with all cylinders on the office career front.
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