The Blessed Cry

Unfortunately, it only hit me after 4 kids just how important my baby's cry really is. What a blessing, in disguise.

See, with my first, second, and even third child, the cry, whine, or even pout were something of a nuisance, and I'd do my best to quickly calm, appease, or otherwise tend to their needs and put a stop to the crying. I couldn't wait until they were old enough to "use their words" and teach them not to cry, but rather to express their needs in calmer, more polite terms (ha!)

Because, let's face it - crying gets under our skin. Yes, I know that biologically it has been fine-tuned over millions of years of evolution for just this purpose - to get us to move - and move quickly - because an infant just can't wait. But once the baby isn't so small, isn't so frail, and starts to be able to put words together... well, the crying just gets annoying. Especially when all 3 children start up in unison (or cacophony, as it were)!

With my 4th child, crying started to take on new meaning. I realized that I was often so distracted by my other children, that if he didn't wail - and wail with some might! - that he really wouldn't get his needs met! Then, I started to view my other children's whining differently as well. How quickly will I listen to my 7 year old, if she says "excuse me mother, but I'm having difficulty with my homework" versus "MOOOOMMMMYYYY - I can't do this homework and need your help NOW!" Clearly, when I'm distracted with making dinner and balancing the needs of her 3 siblings, she'll opt for the whiny version to get my attention. Let's face it - I'll hear her better if she whines. I could beat myself up about it, or I can just recognize the truth: children will do what they must to get their needs met. And that's a blessing.

Until now, I saw crying/whining as a sad truth, a tragic part of childhood that we mothers must endure. Now, I'm realizing my own humanity, and that in my overwhelm I may not hear their sweet, quiet "please can you pass the potato" and instead react more quickly to "MOMMY! Come NOW you have to FEEED ME!" And since I want my kids to feel confident to stand up for themselves in this world, that means I need to recognize their cries are a blessing.

Now, that's not to say that I actively encourage the crying. I'm just newly able to appreciate it and smile at my little screaming-angel, and complain a little less about life as a mommy.