Welcome to Kira's Blog

Welcome to My Blog

Life with young children can be challenging, but with the support and advice of friends, we can feel empowered and thankful for the blessing of being a Mom.

My musings are those of a self-proclaimed attachment-parenting Tiger mom, who juggles full-time mommying with a small (but growing!) baby-related business. I hope some of my thoughts help you
Enjoy your day, Enjoy your night, and Enjoy your kids!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Who's On First?

The biggest challenge to adding a new baby to your life is managing your needs: "your" in the plural sense: your personal needs and those of your baby.

Your new baby can take care of very few needs, so she relies on you, the exhausted-yet-exhilarated mother, to do the job. The problem is that you don't actually know what many of the baby's needs are, or when and how to take care of them. And the baby arrived with no way of communicating her needs, besides wailing and flailing her arms around that something must be done RIGHT NOW.

This communication breakdown is exacerbated by the fact that you have your OWN needs to take care of, as well. So, while baby is howling and turning bright red, you are perhaps wondering "will I EVER get to take a shower?!" as you pick her up for the Nth time to see what you can do. Time and again, you put your own needs aside, in order to take care of baby. This is noble, and right, and good, and also incredibly physically and emotionally taxing.

Parenting magazines, articles, internet postings, etc. will all advise mom to take some time for herself. After all, a weakened mom is not a great source of support to the helpless newborn. But this begs the question: how MUCH time is enough for mom to rejuvenate? And how long will the renewed energy last?

This dilemma is constant, day and night, for the first few months. Yes, months! Does mom get a babysitter every day for a few hours so she can shower, eat, and maybe-just-maybe brush her teeth without interruption? Or solicit a kindly relative or friend to volunteer and help out? And what if the baby is breastfeeding on-demand? Who will fill THAT role, while mom goes to her mandatory 6-week-postpartum doctor's appointment?

The repeated question : Whose needs should come first?

I've found that there is no right or wrong answer to finding the perfect balance. No matter which way I seem to have chosen, the other probably would have been just as right. And just as wrong. When the baby is inside and most of my needs are his, and his are mine, I may be uncomfortable (put lightly ;) , but at least I don't feel conflicted.

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