Adult Perspective

Based on my previous blog, entitled "Losing It" I have come to the conclusion that from an adult's perspective, children are insane.

I used to resent friends who would make such negative statements. But after giving it a bit of thought, I had a fascinating realization that helped me get through today's tantrums.

See, I realized that when I lost control, as an adult I could recognize later that I simply wasn't thinking straight. Reality had shifted for me, and my mind actually came to bizarre conclusions, like for example "if I yell a bit louder, my kid will listen to me! and if I yell the same thing repeatedly, she'll finally smile and say 'great idea, mommy'!" Clearly, these are not the wisdom of an adult but the unfortunate result of temporary insanity.

Well, if *I* was acting insane when I threw *my* tantrum, then what does this say about my kids??? Let's review the tantrum process:
1. get upset
2. decide to yell, scream, kick, throw
3. continue until exhausted

Clearly, there is some sort of short-circuit happening in our wiring, when we move from step 1 to step 2. A sane person would never make such a silly decision and would clearly realize that behaving that way will achieve ZERO positive results. Here's how it works in our children's minds: children need love, support, and comfort. When they throw a tantrum, they actually believe that by yelling, screaming, etc. their parent will give them MORE love, support, and comfort. Is that crazy?! YES!!!

Which brings me to my original thesis: from an adult perspective, children are insane.

They don't know that throwing a tantrum will achieve the reverse of what they want - instead of offering more support and comfort, we parents respond to the tantrum by likewise sticking to our guns, countering their arguments, and getting swept into step #2 dramas ourselves. Ridiculous!

SO, how is this helpful? If we relate to the tantrum for what it is - temporary insanity - then we can more easily laugh it off. Just another silly aspect of humanity.