Miracle/Curse of Hired Help

Many of us opt for some sort of hired help when we have babies and young children. Maybe it's a cleaning lady once a week, or maybe you have full-time, live-in help. Either way, it makes life much MUCH easier to handle.

A friend once emailed me that it's ironic how she FEELS better after her once-a-week cleaning lady is done and the house is in order. Even though she, herself, did nothing, it gives her a sense of order and calm. And if the cleaning lady doesn't show, it's as if the whole day is wrecked (even if really the house didn't need much)!

Hired help can be a major blessing. It gives us moms a chance to feel somehow taken-care-of, somehow in charge of our space, and somehow less lonely. Even if we really don't share much conversation together, the hired help often becomes a friend, someone we rely on and can share moments with - a tough day, a day of baby's firsts, or the celebratory moment when the plumber came on time. She often will get to know the children, even if her primary function is to take care of the house. AND she'll get to know the house, even if her primary function is to take care of the children.

Having help is an absolute miracle and sigh of RELIEF.

On the other hand, hired help is a headache. Nobody cleans exactly the way you want, exactly in the right order so that the house stays clean. Nobody reads your kids and their needs as well as you do, and it can be frustrating when she is JUST DOING IT WRONG!

In some ways, hired help can require more patience than your children do. You have to learn to choose your battles and decide what's most important in the day (wash the dishes or the floor? go for a walk with the kid or feed him first?) Often, I find myself feeling that it would just be easier to do it myself - maybe it's not worth the frustration.

Let's face it - most hired help just doesn't have her "heart" in the job, so she really doesn't care as much as you do what (or who) gets clean, how well, and why. It's a very lucky woman who can find help who really adores the children AND has the "right fit" of disciplining style AND cleans the house AND ... you get the idea.

It's a balancing act, and very few of us find the "perfect balance". Good luck practicing! :)