Higher Authority

Some readers may not be religious. Fair enough. It seems to me most people are on a "spectrum of faith" with very few at either extreme: completely faithful according to a religion or completely atheist. So I'll address the part in each of us which believes.

You may believe in God or Karma or the Energy of the Universe - it doesn't matter, really. It's all the same, as it relates to parenting. It all points to deferring to a "higher" (or "other") authority. Whatever you believe in, beyond the physical and chemical scientific world we know, refers to power(s) beyond our control. And that, my friends, is the key: control.

Most pitfalls in parenting have to do with control: over-controlling, under-controlling, feeling out-of-control, or being controlled by your kids. There is a constant push-and-pull of control involved with parenting. And there is no perfect balance of control. Control works in moments: sometimes we are in control-harmony with our children, and sometimes we are not: they have the upper hand or we do.

But we are more likely to be in harmony with our children when we remind ourselves that it's not all up to us OR them. There is a more powerful energy/authority in the universe than either or both of us. And ultimately, faith in that energy/authority will help us and our children weather the storms. If we firmly believe, then we send a message of humility, honesty, and spiritual fortitude to our children. They, in turn, learn that life need not be perfect, but that the energy/authority in the universe can be a source of support and guidance to a place of emotional/spiritual harmony.

Deferring to a Higher Authority can be challenging, especially since we are programmed to be stuck in our own realities and sense of control over our environment. But the more we release that control and do our best to consider alternative realities and opportunities, the closer we get to inner peace, emotional harmony, and a calmer, healthier relationship to the idea of parenting.