Must Do

I've chilled out as a mother. Sort of.

What I mean is that my mothering has changed. And I feel more at-ease with myself and my choices.

A big part of that is due to an epiphany of sorts. A breakthrough... from something my husband said (as I mentioned in a prior blog, he really is pretty brilliant :)

Here's what happened:

I was heading into the weekend - I usually ended my Fridays wanting the house to look perfect, have my kids bathed, dressed, and well fed, the laundry done and put away, the kitchen clean and cleared, etc. This particular Friday wasn't going my way. The house was in disarray, the kitchen overflowing with dirty dishes, and my kids were running around the house wreaking havoc. The laundry was half-done, unfolded. The food wasn't nearly cooked, but I was. I was totally fried.

My husband came home from work and saw that I was in quite a state. He turned to me and said sternly, "Let's just focus on what NEEDS to happen. Now." Quickly, I scanned the house - I needed to have food; that was a given. I needed to take a shower, for sure. And the mess? The dishes, laundry, toys, etc...? I decided, in that moment, to just let that all go. Released.

And since then, my parenting altered. Sure, I want to have an organized, clean house. But I forgive myself much quicker than I used to, as I trudge off to bed with the dishes still in the sink, or the laundry in the washer, or the blocks and dolls in a pile on the floor.

Instead, my energies are increasingly focused on my kids - making sure they get the attention they need (well, there's never enough time in the day for that, really, but I'm swayed more in that direction, anyway). And on myself, taking time out for a quick workout or to indulge in a real sit-down lunch (rather than a yogurt-on-the-go). And let's not forget some quality time with my spouse, who, after all, inspired this blog to begin with :)

So the message is this: When you feel like there are more to-do's than will ever get done in your hour, day, or week - let go. Release. Just focus on what you MUST do, and let the rest go. Your world will be much calmer and probably happier.